There are two types of people in relation to horses: people who are too effective, who must learn to be kind, and people who are kind but not at all determined, who cannot be effective in any way. Which category do you belong to? I got the worst of both categories.
We all start riding because we love horses, but we find ourselves putting stronger and stronger bits on them, because they teach us that the tandem, people, are for “experienced riders”. And we have to impose ourselves, use the whip with anger, because this is how you "show him who's boss".
I remember that I said I loved the mare I rode, and that was the case, I assure you, yet she, if she could have spoken, would have said many things, but certainly not that she loved me. The sprinkles, how I cleaned her, the new things I bought her, I didn't know, but they changed absolutely nothing. And I'm writing this with tears in her eyes, because becoming aware of the harm I have unknowingly done to her is painful.
Awareness and knowledge: the keys to change
I was not very effective and had little timing. Yet if you had the opportunity to see me now working with a horse you wouldn't know it, and it's not just that I became a Parelli instructor, it goes far beyond... what has changed? My awareness and knowledge has changed. Awareness is realizing what is happening at the moment it is happening: we are getting irritated, annoyed simply because we do not have the necessary tools to resolve the situation (knowledge is missing). So many times young or defending horses are “thrown away” simply because we are not willing to become the riders our horses need.
The next time you are in the saddle or on the ground with your horse and you feel frustrated, scared or angry, simply try taking a step back and thinking “mmm, interesting” and analyzing the source of your emotion and trying to change your attitude: you will take a step forward for yourself and your horses.
ALSO READ: Changing perspective, to change attitude!
Positive, progressive and natural: the new attitude
But what should our attitude be? “Positive, progressive and natural,” Pat Parelli would respond. Being able to see the glass half full is truly a turning point in reading our horse. We human beings want the result, and we want to get it directly. We should remember that a colt stopping in front of an obstacle, but remaining calm and being able to “analyze” it, is part of the process towards the result of the clear path. “The process does not equal the result” - this is what we humans struggle to digest, we would like the result immediately.
ALSO READ: Attitude is the first key to success!
The virtue of patience and time in training
I still have videos where Wonder comes off the ground on a very low obstacle. Fortunately I was already at the level of awareness so I knew that this was a necessary step to have a horse that jumps by putting his mind and his will into it. She needed that, if I had forced her to go there at that moment I would have gotten the “result,” she would have jumped, but I would have lost everything. I would have lost her trust, I would have lost her future collaboration, I would have lost our relationship. And the result I would have obtained would have been that of a mare who would always need to be pushed to jump, even when she didn't feel like it. Instead I don't even remember the last time she stopped me in the competition, even when she very well could have, because the conditions were not optimal.
A practical example in show jumping? The horse stops at a jump, the worst thing you can do is force it to go that way, come back with more legs, more whip, more hand grenades, and if it stops again (and usually this is precisely the case) increase the dose. Unfortunately, however, it is the most common method. The horses go beyond the jump for fear of staying here. But in this way we will never have a partner, we will have a horse that at the first opportunity throws us down, goes into defense, or as soon as it stops makes certain outbursts of fear that are dangerous for the rider...much more than a stop.
The jump must be a beautiful and safe place, and yes, it may seem strange to you but all my horses know that if for a thousand reasons they need to stop they can do so, and I will never make it a problem, I will be effective in communicating to them that this is but the most important thing is that they manage to put their nose to the obstacle with tranquility and safety; the race is over now, we might as well build trust and buy points as a good leader!
The importance of the senses in horses
Why the nose? The nose is in horses what hands are in children. Horses explore the world through their noses. “The nose, the neck, maybe the feet”: this is exactly how a horse confidently faces any obstacle. We also think about the trailer ramp. If the horse can smell it while remaining calm, they are already halfway there. This does not mean that a horse does not cross something on which its nose does not rest, however sometimes it happens that it passes with the body but often forced by fear, not in a confident and sure way of itself and of the harmlessness of the obstacle.
Where to start the change?
This is just one example. I would have hundreds of them... so what is the best way to internalize and make these principles become our new instinctive modus operandi? Working from the ground. In the next article we will see why this is essential and how this can help us and the horses.
Edited by Isabel Mandy, for Fedda.
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